When I wrote “Choosing Life,” I told you a little about my father’s father. Grandpop worked in a rivet factory and, after the war, got my father started in that business. He was an Irishman, and therefore charming, but he was a drunk. Every Friday night he spent his whole paycheck at the local bar. Grandpop also had a short fuse. One time, when another man at the bar made him angry, he knocked him unconcious with a single punch. He never hit my grandmother, but he never supported her or his children, either. So, my grandparents were always fighting. Grandpop also was never faithful to Grandmom. He used seducing women as a tactic to take his revenge on his “enemies.” My father took his side. He was the role model for my father’s obsession with revenge, with prostitutes, and with drinking.

During the 1920’s, alcoholic beverages were made illegal. To supply people with booze, bootleggers would bring illegal whiskey to speakeasies (secret bars). My grandfather was one of those bootleggers. He was driving a load of whiskey to the city in a pickup truck when the police were suddenly right on his tail. When they got too close, he drove the truck into the Delaware River and swam away. I ended up with the gun he carried. I finally turned it in to the sheriff’s department. I didn’t want to know what he did with it.

People who hate and who seek revenge are very dangerous. They can do real, and sometimes permanent, damage. Our first responsibily is to ourselves, to protect ourselves from family members who hurt us. It was also very important for me to stop blaming other people for all my problems and to take responsibility for my own life. One thing I hope “Choosing Life” achieves is to expose the danger of dysfuncional people and to provide a path to freedom from them. The path is called forgiveness. I needed a lot of help from the Lord, but I am here to tell you that it is possible.

Here is a picture from 1944 of my father, me, and my grandfather.