In “Choosing Life,” I told you that my first husband was a violent man. It started with a slap across the face that knocked me down. It went on to a punch aimed at my one year old who wouldn’t sit down in the back seat of the car: his first black eye. Then when my son was three and a half, he walked in front of the TV during a football game. My soon to be ex punched him, knocked him to the ground and started kicking him in the back. It was the first time I stood up to him. I put my body between my ex and my son, scooped up the toddler, and ran. I was pregnant with my second son at the time. Then there came the promise: “I’ll never do it again.” He even started seeing a psychiatrist.
But you know it happened again. My second son was one week old. I was on the kitchen phone, standing up. He was mad and punched me in the stomach. One week after giving birth, stitches and all, that was it. I ran upstairs, packed his bag, and threw him out. I filed a complaint with the police. I had to testify before the grand jury. One juror asked if he hit me with an open hand or his fist. I demonstrated a karati chop. Another juror asked if I was going to go back to him. “No,” I answered. “He told me he would kill me the next time, and I believe him.” My ex was indicted for assault and battery. In the divorce settlement, I dropped the charges in exchange for a peace bond keeping him away from me and my children. I gave up all child support. We were safe.
It is never an easy decision. In Malachi 2:16, God says “I hate divorce.” But that is only half a verse. God goes on to say, “But I hate a man who covers his wife in violence.” I was not a Christian at the time of my divorce. But I was interested in the survival of myself and my sons. Years later, after I had become a Christian, this verse was a great comfort to me. I had done the right thing. Do not stay in a home where you and/or your children are beaten. It will not get better. It will get worse. Anything is better than to live with violence. Anything! Tell someone. Heck, tell everyone. Get help. But most of all, get out! Run for it!
